It's a Boy!!!

We had our ultrasound appointment last week, but decided to wait and post. We were in KC this weekend for my mom's birthday and wanted to surprise my family in person. Everything looked good. He was very active kicking and arms moving like crazy. We had a full face shot and he even yawned. It was very cool. She went to go make another check to make sure it was a boy, and she said oh, now his hand is down there....I was like yep, it's a boy. She said the baby was weighing about a week ahead. He was almost a pound! No names of yet, we are still thinking. Austin is a front runner, I like Noah this week. We know that King will be the middle name for sure, so always open for ideas.

I love this shirt. Comfy with a good message, "Hugs, not drugs." This was one of my laying around the house outfits. I was putting laundry away the other day and ran across it. Still fits!!! Err...something like that. Josh and I had a good laugh. So this is me at 21 weeks.

Me and Papa King this weekend. We were twinkies with our matching sweaters and bellies.

My sister Tara is pregnant as well, she is due Feb. 2. We had my other sister Megan surrounded with our ginormous bellies.

Snoogle in the Hzouse...

After a few uncomfortable nights of sleeping, partially from being uncomfortable and partially because I'm so paranoid by all these books, "Don't sleep on your back!" "Sleep only on your left side!" I would barely wake up and immediately assess my sleeping situation and panic. Anyway, I was browsing Amazon the other day and thought I would check out the snoogle....$44 and free shipping later...I was excited. Last night was my first night snoogling it up, and...I...loved...it. Words can't express my joy of sleeping with this thing. Pretty much those pictures might as well have been me last night, (except I don't wear satin pajamas...hello, hot. I would sweat to death.) Now those of you who know Josh, he's a snuggler...and he was not excited about the snoogle...until this morning when I got up for work. Got out of the shower and guess who was snoogling and snoring.

When I was reading reviews for the snoogle this one was hilarious. I just had to add it, because it made me laugh so hard. It obviously didn't deter me from buying it.

When I first bought Snoogle, I loved it, as it was perfectly supportive as promised. Then my toddler barfed in our bed, and some of it unfortunately splashed on Snoogle. Snoogle's cover had to be washed. Snoogle's cover is very snug, without a hint of stretch. Snoogle's ONE cover opening is in a very awkward location. I was so frustrated with trying to put Snoogle's cover back on after washing that I left it off and left the pillow bare. Big mistake. Snoogle's supportive secret is in its cover because when left without, it's basically a flat blob of cheap batting that stores body heat like an extra-lumpy camel and then spits it back at you during the night. Why do people devise ways to frustrate pregnant women? Finally, today, I put Snoogle's cover back on, and after a half-hour of twisting, writhing, cursing and taking two breaks ... I got the stupid cover back on but didn't even have a post-coital glow as an added benefit.

Weird Dreams

I have been having some crazy dreams lately. Josh is apparently having sympathy crazy dreams, because well...I'll just tell you the story. Last week, I woke up in the middle of the night after having a weird dream. I could tell Josh was somewhat awake as well, so I said, "You need to call six creditors back after we go for a ride in the helicopter around New York City." (Pause) Josh: "Oh yeah, well the trapeze artist performing at the K-State game fell off her swing and knocked her teeth out. She lost her top in the process, and since I didn't help her up she said"...(as apparently she shook her boobs at him) "Thanks a lot Josh." After I called him a creep, we had a good laugh.

Now we almost try and remember them so we can later analyze. Last night I dreamt that I had the baby, like as pregnant as I am right now, and it took 4 minutes. I kept thinking it would hurt more, but then I thought it's because I'm not very far along. Weird. Josh dreamt that Brett Favre came over to play catch with him, but he kept throwing the football too hard. Oh, but it doesn't end there. He also dreamt that there was scandal at the spelling bee when a girl was found cheating by wearing a microphone in her ear therefore, outlawing ALL hearing aids!!!!

Josh says it's because we don't drink as much anymore.

Sorry for....

Getting pulled over and given a breathalizer test. Last week Josh and I actually had friends in town, and so we celebrated by heading out to the bars. As we were leaving, I literally had made it a block away when I was being pulled over by a police car. I thought..ok, I didn't run a red light or anything, I just left my spot, what is going on. I proceeded to freak a little bit because our tags had just expired on the Cherokee, but we are rolling with it because our lease is up. The officer asks for the usual, I ask.."Um, why was I pulled over?" He says, "Well Ryann, your lights aren't on." I was like, "Oh my gosh this car has automatic lights, and I guess I accidently turned them off when I parked...etc....etc..." He says, "Well where are you coming from?" I'm like, "the bar scene!" Now this whole time Josh and our friends are laughing at me, and sort of jeering this whole process on. You would think not the normal, your drunk driver just was pulled over behavior. I explained to him that I was prego, and the d.d. to which he replies, "Well, then you won't mind taking one of these then." And pulls out a breathalizer. Before I could reply, Josh yells, "YEAH!!!!" in the backseat. Now, the Rose in me for a split second thought...I drank a Kaliber....Guinesses non-alcoholic beer. What if something comes up and he thinks I just lied to him....but that quickly diminished, when he said...."0.000" The rest of the car laughed and I apologized again for not realizing my lights weren't on. He said, "You're pregnant", (like, it's to be expected), but I didn't care because he let me go.

Good Stuff

This book is hilarious. I bought this for Josh half joking, half serious because I knew he wasn't reading any of the baby books. So I put it in the one place I knew he might flip through it...the executive...a.k.a the bathroom. After getting it though, I started reading it too. It...is... awesome. It breaks the book up by months, and at the beginning of each month it lists, "What your wife will be complaining about." The first two things every month is, 1. Exhaustion and 2.You. Love it. I was like...see, it's not just me. It also has pictures of what the wife may look like that month. In the beginning she has her cute cowboy boots on dancing, and by the end she is in straight (as he says), "jungle-print muu-moo she swore she'd never wear."

My other favorite parts are sections like, "Things to let her know you are caring, sensitive, and up on the required reading." They are usually about 2 short paragraphs filled with big medical words. The best line of the whole book though is...."Yes, your wife's boobs are getting bigger...no, you can't touch them." It's like everything your baby book is telling you, but in funny guy terms, for instance, "Month 4, Leukorrhea...(we don't want to talk about it.)" If Josh questions my motives, I'm like did you read the book? It clearly stated this month I would want to bathe in mayonnaise. Anyway, good stuff, I found it on Amazon for a couple bucks, and highly recommend it.

Bad day to be pregnant.

Soooo last Friday I was subbing elementary a class that included 1st, 2nd, and 3rd. All is well in the land of munchkins...we read a little, played with some earthworms, the math was easy...you get the picture. An hour before the day is over...that is 60 minutes before the official start of the weekend. The craziest sub/teaching experience I've ever had happened. A second grader went medieval on me. Enter scene:

The four second graders of the class are gathered around the teacher's table working on their language assignment. Putting the correct spelling of a word in a sentence. I stressed to them, that we were checking it as a group, so if they got it wrong, no big deal, just correct it. So this one kid (to protect his identity) we will just call him "The Devil" gets the last sentence wrong. I say, "No big deal, just mark the correct word." Devil: "But, that's what I was going to pick, but he told me to pick the answer and it was wrong!!" Me: "I understand, but it is your assignment, so you need to choose your own answers, but again, we are correcting as a group, so it's no...." Devil: Jumps up slams his chair into the desk, mumbles something under his breath and goes to his seat. Again...SECOND GRADER!!!

So, I calmly go back to the rest of the group to finish. I hand them their next assignment, and plan on speaking to my star student. But of course in the land of elementary, the other kids yell for him to get his next assignment before I can tell them not to. He approaches, I tell all the other kids to have a seat, and ask Devil to stay and talk to me. Devil: picks up his assignment rips it in half yelling, "IS THIS WHAT YOU WANT!!! ARE YOU HAPPY NOW!!!" He proceeds back to his desk where he kicks it repeatedly. I ask the other kids to continue working...not that they are doing so at this point. I walk over to The Devil and say, "Ok, lets go to the office." Devil: ignores me continues to kick. I reach down to pick up his torn assignment, and he starts wailing on me! Hitting me with his book, kicking me in the shins, and screaming. At this point, I don't know what he's going to do. I can't leave him, hitting and kicking things, because he might kick another student, so I pretty much grab him and carry him out in the hallway. Don't worry he managed to kick several things on his way out.

He made so much noise that the principal, counselor and secretary across the hall came over as I was bringing him out. The counselor and I chat while the principal takes him to her office. She says to me in a low whisper...."He has anger issues." I'm like NO SH*T!!!! As I retell the story the overly hormonal pregnant lady decides to come visit, and I break down in tears. Awesome. Then I have to retell the story to the principal...still crying. She says to me...for future reference, just leave and come get someone next time. I almost flipped. I said, I'm sorry, but I have been teaching for 6 years, I've worked in high schools, I've broken up fights, and never have I ever seen a kid flip out to the point where I felt like I had no choice but restrain him. I didn't have time to get someone. I said, him hitting an kicking like that, I thought he was going to go crazy on another student. Plus...I don't even know this kid! If he has anger issues that needs to be in the sub notes!!!!!! Come to find out, big surprise, this isn't the first time he has done this. He did come apologize to me at the end of the day with the help of the principal. I mean, this was scary. I thought I was dealing with a future serial killer or something.

Long story longer, I finally pulled it together to go back in and teach the last 30 min. The other kids felt so bad for me that they all gave me notes and pictures. One kid drew me flowers....so ultimately I started crying again. Man, bad day to be pregnant.

Issues

Ok, I get that the hormones are in overdrive. I finally accepted it after crying at a commercial...don't ask, I don't even remember. Apparently another side effect of being pregnant. I mean I've even been fine with the breaking out issue I seem to have on my face lately...but it's spreading. Yesterday I woke up with neckne...that's acne on my neck. WTF is that? And it's not just one, it looks like a constellation. Apparently it's orbiting my face..drawing all it's energy from my other zits. RIDICULOUS. And nothing is worse then trying to play it off, like, oh, no one will notice...and than Josh..."What's on your neck?"...awesome...he told me it looked like I had been bit by a vampire...awesome...It's too bad we didn't dress up for Halloween this year, apparently I would have had a really good costume.

More Subbing Stories

I subbed today...elementary...resource room. I told Josh I wasn't going to work elementary unless, it was something easy like resource room, and there was nothing else available...well wouldn't you know what was available this morning...resource room. Mainly the reason I don't like to teach in the class, is because the idea of 20-30 elementary school kids scares me. Resource room I can handle. Few kids come in, you help them read, the math is easy, and you send them on their merry way. I admit the main reason why I like to sub middle and high school is because the majority of teachers...like those who read this blog...will have video/worksheet/play on the computer day when they are gone. This allows me to do more important things like Sudoku and crossword puzzles. Subbing for elementary...you know you have to teach, and dare I say...even make a difference, because if you don't, it's suddenly Romper Room, and you are hearing 50 stories about their friend's cousin's uncle who broke his ankle doing something stupid...and have to pretend like it's really interesting.

The Teacher's definitely complain about different things. For example, I overheard this conversation..."I had to send Johnny to the office, because he was drinking the paint water during art today." I was like, "Yeah, that's like the time I had the officer remove a kid because he called me a racist and wouldn't stop yelling black power....no?...not the same?"...I will say one thing I do like about elementary kids, is the fact that they have no concept of age. This one kid I helped today asked me if I was in high school or college. I could have cried. I was like, ahhh, you're sweet...I'm in college. I mean, you gotta boost that self-esteem...mine, not his.

Working 9 to 5...

Or 8 to 3:15...whatever. So, last Friday as I was packing to leave for KC for my 10 year high school reunion...which will be another blog, once I get my camera back...long story. We receive a phone call...early...so early that Josh assumes it's a telemarketer. She askes for RiANNeh....which apparently is what Ryann looks to sound out as. Josh, lays into the woman..."Who's RiANNeh?"...the poor woman fumbling starts trying other names...RyANN, Reeannuh, Reena...because apparently "Ryan" is a foreign name in Iowa. Josh finally realizes that it's not a telemarketer hands me the phone. It's a sub job...for the booming metroplis of West Branch, Iowa...home of Herbert Hoover. Why do I know this? Because the 30 seconds it took to drive through the town there was about 20 signs that made reference to it. So....I have a job 4 days this week at the high school. I went today not real sure what I was doing. She said they needed help with their ITED testing...which I pretty much assumed that stood for watching a spec. ed student pick the wrong answers on the standardized test while waiting for him/her to ask me to read the tough words like "standardized test."

Man, I thought sitting at home was boring...at least I could be in my sweats, and check my email. I basically worked 1 hour and sat for 6. Although tomorrow I might wear my sweats. I felt overdressed in my Khaki's and button down shirt. I was about to go crazy when I befriended the librarian and she showed me to the stack of People magazines. The last kid I sat with pretty much told me right away he didn't want help reading. I was like, fine with me...at that point, I was already into my second people magazine...which of course was how fat and crazy Brittany still is. I mean sure this kid asked to go to the bathroom and was gone for 30 min....but is Brittany ever going to get her life back on track for these kids?

Holy $#@*!!!!

This was pretty much my response when I saw this spider in my garage yesterday. It was not doing a very good job of hiding in the corner, since you know...it's GINORMOUS! That's my shoe in the pic. I mean this picture does no justice for the size of this thing, because at this point it is all shriveled up and dead. Death by spraying the F- out of it with Ortho Home defense Max. This was no easy task. I sprayed it in the corner, it took off under the car, made a run for it out of the garage, and half way down the driveway, with me spraying the whole time. Finally it quit moving. I mean, I don't know how long of a run that was in spider world, but let's just say a good couple miles for argument sake. So, I'm going to town on this thing, and look up to find all the construction workers that are building this house across the street are sitting in there truck staring at me like I'm crazy. Just wanted you all to know. Apparently, Iowa isn't just known for it's truck stops, and corn. Big ASS spiders is on the list as well.

Back to the doctor

Well the saga continues...just kidding, no saga. Christy said I had to blog after each appointment. I guess this would apply to my two rules I have given myself in the world of blogging. It either has to be informative, or funny. I will warn you now, this isn't going to be funny, so if that's the only reason you consider looking at my blog...you might want to check out Maria's. There is a picture of Jett next to a whiskey bottle the same size as him. That was pretty funny.

So, we went, and I figured they get up in your grill every visit...but I guess that's not true, because she didn't....and I told Josh that was a waste of a shave. I felt like I got all dressed up for nothing...but...I digress. We did get to hear the heartbeat which was nice. Apparently, sometimes this early you can't hear it through the stomach, so it was nice that we did. The first heartbeat was mine, and I was like oh, there it is!!! (Feeling smart)...and she goes...uh, no, that's your heartbeat. I was like...sorry I'm not a doctor. We did hear it, and it was very fast, she thought like 160, last time it was 150. I'm like dang, what is it doing in there, taking laps?

I also asked her about the previous sonogram which indicated extra amniotic fluid, and luteal cysts. She said the cysts, are the energy behind the gestational sac that the baby lives on until the umbilical cord develops, and the extra amniotic fluid isn't a big deal that early because the baby is not using that either. She said eventually the baby starts to breath it in, and then excretes it out through the kidneys, so later when they do the 20 week sonogram if there is extra amniotic fluid then...it is a concern.

Sooo...pretty much all this information makes me realize I know nothing about the female body or fetal development.

Lemon Bars

As I sit here eating a lemon bar, I have been thinking....I need a job. All I want to do is eat. All day long. I'm trying really hard to be good, and I will say I guess I've never been a big "sweet" eater, but...MAN, this pregnancy...it's like, before, I guess I just drank. Now that I can't drink, I want to eat...lemon bars, chocolate cake, popsickles, vanilla creme cookies, (yes, these have all been consumed in my house recently) ICE CREAM. I dream about ice cream. I wish I dreamt about fruit and vegetables. How come the baby never craves healthy stuff. I will say, the one thing I have no desire to eat is a cheeseburger. Josh has been trying to make burgers for a month, and I'm like, it just doesn't sound good. Maybe if he threw some frosting on it, I would be in.

Matthew McConaughey

Josh and I were watching tv the other night, and a commercial for We are Marshall came on, and Josh says to me, "Do you think he's hot?"
Me: "Duh!!"
(Pause)
(Pause)
Josh: "Do you think you two would make a good fit?"
Me: "Josh...that's the stupidest question you have ever asked me."
(Pause)
(Eye roll)
"Of course we would."

Maternity pants are the devil.

Yes, I bought maternity pants. My sister, Tara, and mom were in town last weekend. Tara is pregnant too, she is due in Feb. We go shopping. I'm like well, I'll try on some pants just for fun, because I mean technically I can still fit into mine, it just feels better not to button. These things were like butter. They sucked in all my fat, and didn't even have to try and suck in. Obviously, I bought them. Fast forward to today. I go downtown to get an application to sub for Iowa City, and just happen to drive by the new Chipotle that just opened up in town....no line, parking spot in front, fate? I'm enjoying my chicken tacos...when before, after a good meal at Chipotle I would be stuffed, and feeling rather tight in the pants. But these are no normal pants...these are maternity pants...they just expand with me. I'm like did I even eat? Well, apparently not, because as I was driving home, ole' Dairy Queen caught my eye, and wouldn't you know it a few minutes later I'm eating a snickers blizzard. I'm thinking, I won' t finish it, I just want to satisfy my craving....well, apparently my craving was the whole thing. These pants didn't know what hit them. I feel full, but my body in these pants, are telling me I can go for more....needless to say, I'm eating popcorn right now. These pants are the devil.

All Knocked up...don't know what to do...

I'm pregnant! I've been out on email/blogging due to the fact we just moved...again...to Coralville, IA. The computer was recently set up...and I still haven't found the camera to send out any pics. BUT...I'm back. I'm due April 27th which puts me at a little over 8 weeks. We went to the doctor 2 days before we were moving from Chicago. I was hoping for a sonogram, because I wasn't really sure how far along I was based on the last time Aunt Flo visited me was in June, but I tested negative until August....hmmm...interesting.

So, we go, and Josh is hungover by the way...I was hoping he would not get sick by watching me get a pap, but he stayed near my head, and tried not to watch....the funny thing is afterward he's like...does that hurt? I'm like, no it's the best feeling in the world to have a giant metal clamp in your vagina....any more questions? So, basically she was not going to give me a sonogram, but wasn't sure how far along I was either, so...I got one.

Moving on the the next place where more things are in my v-ja-ja. At this point, I'm like bring it, I've already had the pap, the blood test, the breast check...which Josh's comment was...man she was all up in those things....That time I just gave him a look like..."seriously?"...moving on to the sonogram, now, I've never had one. I didn't know there were several ways to have one of these things like internally...so she asks me if I would like to insert it myself...to which I replied, um...well the last time I put a giant wand with the camera on the end of it in there...so go for it. Now, this might be a personal decision for some. My thought was, aren't you the nurse? Then she was annoyed that I didn't want to do it myself....WHATEVER.

So, we see it...the "rice" shape that is our baby, but she's not really telling us that, and finally I have to ask...is that it, and she's like, oh, yeah. Well, that would have been good information to know. So, I'm annoyed, because she's doing things on the machine and not telling us what they are, and she's trying to wand areas in me that apparently don't want to be wand-ed...and Josh is like...I don't see it. But then we hear the heartbeat...and it was so cool. I don't know how my baby's heart could beat so fast when it is that tiny and just sitting there, but it became very real. Josh said, ok, now it's starting to sink in. Boys...

I realize this is a novel, but I guess I'm making up for being out so long. I had to go pick up my results of the sonogram so I could bring them to my new doctor. On the report it said, extra amniotic fluid, and 2 cysts on my right ovaries. I'm like that's weird, but surely they would have said something to me if they thought it was bad. I call Josh and tell him, and he kind of freaks out, and tells me to call the doctor. I ended up calling his mom, because she is a nurse, so she asks one of the nurse practitioners that she works with. She said the cysts might just be the egg shell left over from when I ovulated, the corpus luteal. I looked on the report, and that's what it said it was. She also said to have extra amniotic fluid doesn't mean it's a bad thing...then she says, are you sure you're not having twins? I'm like, I think they would have seen that. My theory is since I hadn't had my period since June, but didn't get pregnant until August, that I ovulated twice, and that's where the 2 cyst luteal things came from. That's my theory anyway. I've been feeling pretty good, just tired. Still running, just not as far, or as fast. I've gained about 5 lbs. I get pretty cranky and weird when I haven't had food in a while, but what else is new. :) So, that's the update. I go back the 2nd, and will hopefully know more then.

The truth

All right I admit it...this is why we are moving to Iowa...The world's largest truckstop. There, I said it. Yes, folks it's real...and really big. In route to Iowa to look for a house, we were greeted with just one more reason Iowa is the place to be. We were driving through endless corn fields, when this blinding light came over the horizon...Josh and I started laughing, and we were like wow, it's official we're moving here for sure. Apparently this place is like the Mecca for truck drivers. They have to visit this place once before they die. I would make fun of it more, but you know they probably have really good koozies there.

Moving again

I guess ultimately, I really decided to start this to keep fam and friend informed on what's going on in our world. Since we no longer have family and friends around us...this is a great link to our thoughts and updates. Josh was recently transferred to Iowa for work. This will now be our 3rd move in 4 years....and it's getting old. Buying and selling houses is a beat down, and we actually have help in this process. We recently did find a house in Iowa it's very nice, great neighborhood, by a golf course, (of course that sealed it for Josh). Here is some pics of all the places we have lived. The only thing missing is our first apartment in Kansas city, one bedroom. That was before we had money for a digital camera...and I'm too lazy to scan a picture that really doesn't show you the whole apartment.

This was our first house in Dallas....I don't miss that tree. We actually had this old man who rode a tricycle...twice a day up our street ask me to cut it, so he wouldn't have to bend over when he rode by. I was like sure, sorry. He goes, good, now I won't have to call anyone about this. This at the same time we had one neighbor who parked on half of the grass of all the neighbors around him, and another neighbor who's fence was falling down, so his 3 chihuaha's kept escaping and crapping in our yard. I was like...yeah, call on us because our tree has leaves on it and hangs down that makes sense.

I just like this picture because it actually snowed in Dallas, and then immediately melted.

Moving on to Chicago...the windy city. We summered here this year. I was here less than 2 months before we found out that we were moving again. Great City lots to do and see, but still has that friendly midwest feel to it. I'm glad we lived outside of the city, but was still close enough to go in.

The other bonus was trading in the crossfire for the wrangler which you can see in the garage. We really started to like this house. Unfortunately, we have had only one person look at it, so apparently we were the only one's who liked it.

This is our new house in Iowa!!! Sorry it's not that great of a pic, but we are excited about it. Nice neighborhood, new development. It's a ranch style with finished basement. We have never actually had a basement before so that's exciting. We close in a couple of weeks. We should be there for at least 3-5 years, so hopefully the moving every 6 months is over for a while. No corn, but we did see a house that backed up to a field of corn. We felt like that was ironic.

Peer Pressure

So....I guess I blog now. My good friends from Dallas...a.k.a. the Golden Girls...a.k.a. Christy, Aurora, and Lisa, basically in so many words told me we would no longer be friends if I didn't start blogging/myspacing. Call me old fashion, but I like to talk on the phone...there I said it. I guess that's why I'm Rose. That's how they do things in St. Olaf. These girls not so much, they would prefer an email, a text, or a blog. So, maybe out of peer pressure, maybe out of proving that I do know how to work a computer here I am...blogging. It's only fitting then that I dedicate this first blog to them. Here you go you sloots.....I hope you're happy.



Lisa, mmm...beer


Christy, 80 takes for the thinker



Aurora, this is what she looks like when she
has a babysitter. :)